.:reflections of twilight:.

OK, so there's a slight chance we may be moving.

Here's the breakdown. Friends of ours live in an adult-only apartment complex that is based on income. Since mom is the only one who is over 55, it'd be based on her SSI that she receives. This is good since she'd be living there on her own eventually anyway. Our rent is currently $800.00 a month. I usually pay the rent with my monthly annuity, which basically takes all of my money. However, if we get this new apartment, it'd be cut in half, if not more.

It's much smaller than our condo, and there is no garage and no basement. However, with the money we'd save on rent (which mom would be paying instead of me), I can get a storage unit for the extra stuff we have and still have money left over. For me, it'd most likely be temporary, because once I find a job (God willing), I'd eventually move out on my own and mom would have the place to herself.

We took a tour today and found the apartment to be very nice. It has a laundry room and an elevator, which would help mom out considerably since it's on the second floor. I'd have to try and re-work my space issues with my stuff, but I think I can figure out something. Plus, I'd get my own bathroom again, which I miss since living here.

The area isn't all that far from where we are now. While we're currently on the South side of town, this is closer to the North side and we'd have to get re-oriented to where things are located.

It shouldn't be too difficult for us to qualify. While I'm not thrilled at the prospect of moving again, I think it's the best for both of us, since it'd save so much on money and maybe I can get ahead financially and can save some money for when I move out on my own. Ad I know it'd be a load off of mom's mind since she was always so worried that she'd have to find a place that was less than reputable for her to live in eventually. This place is nothing like that.

So prayers and good blessings that things will fall into place as needed. While we're far from being homeless, it's been quite the struggle to keep up with bills and rent and everything lately and moving here would help us out quite a bit. Plus, there are people we know who live there and that would be nice for us in many ways.

I'm not gonna mention anything about it on social media until things are finalized and I tell my immediate family what our new address would be.

No news on the job front. Maybe next year? I dunno. I don't know if others have as much difficulty with trying to find employment in my career choice or if it's just my luck. Maybe I'm meant to wait a certain period of time until after the potential move and mom's possible knee surgery next Spring? I just wish I had a little heads up as to what the plan is so that I can rest easy. Augh, so much uncertainty!!

I voted early last week, so hopefully this dumpster fire of an election will prove to be fruitful for the right people. I'll be honest, Trump in the White House terrifies me on so many levels. #ImWithHer

Well, here I am, laying on my bed in my new bedroom in Tennessee. It's very nice. It seems bigger than my other room in Florida, but it could be because I don't have as much in it as I did down there. Mostly because there's not really the room for it, but also because it's set up a little differently.

I will say this, though. I never want to move again for a loooooooong time. It's really the worst. The day we loaded, last Thursday, was hot as hell and a little scattered. But, we had mostly teenagers helping out and they tend to not be the most responsible group. Still, they got the job done. I didn't do a lot of the physical stuff due to my back wanting to give out on me and the temperature. I mostly directed the guys moving and packed up a few last minute things. The girl who was supposed to help us out by cleaning did a rather piss poor job of it. We had to have a friend of ours (who was actually riding with mom on the way up) come over on Friday morning and help us clean out the refrigerator.

We ended up tossing away a few things at the last minute, like the vacuum cleaner, the brooms, the majority of the food in the refrigerator, the pots and pans, the cleaning supplies, because they 'supposedly' wouldn't fit in the truck. Mom said later on that she though they probably would've, but by that point we were over packing and loading that we didn't give much of a damn about anything.

Then, I had a brief emotional breakdown a few hours before we left due to the build up of stress and frustration and anxiety and all of that other crap. So I was sitting on my luggage bawling my eyes out, while the carpet cleaners were cleaning the apartment. It was rather cathartic now that I think about it. Added to it all was the fact that my car wouldn't start and we needed it to in order to load it onto the car trailer on the back of the moving truck. We eventually had to repower the battery and got it started enough to get it on. It's dead again, of course, but I think it's because I need a completely new battery since I just had the car tuned up not long before we left.

The trip up itself wasn't so bad. we drove straight through, although we had thought we might have to stop overnight at some friends of ours, but we were making good time so we didn't need to. We did pull in after midnight, so I needed to stay overnight with friends before coming to the condo the next morning. Once we got the key, we unlocked everything and once more people arrived, began to unload. The unloading seemed to go much smoother I think because we had all adults helping and the weather wasn't as monstrous as in Florida. Yes, it was hot but not ungodly like it was on Thursday.

We're gradually beginning to unpack everything and set things up the way we want them to be. We did have to buy some things, like a new vacuum, pots and pans, cleaning supplies, food, ect. We want to try to get things on the inside set up before trying to tackle the things in the garage and basement. THAT will be the fun part.

The cats seems to have adjusted quite well already. They like to run up and down the stairs and explore things. We do have to make sure that the basement and garage doors are closed so that no wandering kitties will appear... and then disappear.

Here are some pictures I took of the inside of the new place. I wanted to get them before we started loading a bunch of boxes and stuff inside. I hope to take more once we get everything all put into place.

One of my goals is to try to go back to school and get my Master's Degree in Library Science at Eastern Tennessee State University. I never tried to do school and work at the same time because I knew I couldn't do both. Hopefully I can get a job on campus as a Graduate or Research Assistant so I can pay a lower tuition. It's knowing where to start is the tricky thing. But, hopefully it'll work out. I want to try to avoid getting the same kind of job I had in Florida, because it wasn't fulfilling, and I'd like to try to avoid getting a job out of necessity rather than enjoyment if I can help it. Wish me luck!

As those of you who follow me on Facebook may have guessed by now, mom and I are in Tennessee looking for housing. It took as almost the entire day yesterday (Friday) to find something, but I think we may have struck pay dirt.

It's nothing fancy, but it's very charming and has a spectacular view of the mountains from the living room window. That in and of itself may just be worth it. It has smaller bedrooms that what we have now and MUCH smaller closets as well as one full bathroom (which means I have to share. After having my own bathroom for four years, I got a little spoiled), but it has a very large basement which looks like it can hold quite a bit of stuff, especially if we condense it.

Besides, if we find another place we like better after a year, we can move again, but I honestly don't see that happening. For one thing, I don't think I'd want to move again for a very long time. Nothing is official as of yet, but we filled out applications (we both had to) and hopefully it'll get processed and approved so that we can move out by the time we need to be out of our Florida place. There are a few minor things we need to do as of yet, like finish up the packing, find someone to drive the truck for us while we drive the car and tow the other car (which in actuality will be behind the moving truck) and finish up some things before we make the move.

Monday I have a meeting with a financial adviser about rolling over my 401(k) to an IRA and then we have to take our older cat to the vet to get her shots updated and then receive copies of her records for a vet up here. Then the rest of the week will probably be more packing...

We did go to the movies today. We went to see Now You See Me which is about a group of magicians who rob banks and give the cash to the less fortunate. It's a lot more complex than that, but I can't really describe it any better. The theater we went to is very nice. Nice large curved screen. I told mom that when the second Hobbit movie comes out as well as Catching Fire we need to see it in that theater. It's a bit out of the way though, but most everything is here. I have to get used to finding my way around once we move up. I'm used to things being more close together where we are now.

We went to this quaint little bakery in downtown Bristol, VA (which is a hop, skip and a jump from here). It had very good pastries for reasonable prices. I debated on getting an elephant ear, but I stuck to a couple of donuts instead.

Later today we went to other friends of ours in Piney Flats to have a nice little cookout and swim in the lake nearby. It was a lot of fun, but I almost had a panic attack getting into the lake since the access point we have is very steep and a bit slippery. I eventually made it in though and had some fun.

I think I'll turn in now since it's been a long day and we need to head out in the morning. Hopefully I'll have more to report later on.

This past week was my first full week unemployed. It was kinda weird, but also kinda nice in certain ways.

I didn't have to get up as early. I still set my alarm so I wouldn't over sleep and waste the day away, but it wasn't as early as it used to be.

I could wear what I wanted. Basically, it means wearing grungy clothes while packing so I wouldn't be lazy and in my pajamas all day... like I am today apparently.

If I wanted to eat my lunch while watching TV or surfing the internet, I could do so without being disciplined. Not that I did that a lot while I was working, but now I can if I want to.

If I need to run an errand or something, I can do it anytime during the day I wanted to and not after work when I was dog tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and crash.

However, I do miss having a steady paycheck, but that's only a relatively minor inconvenience that I can deal with. It does mean I get to eat home more often, which is probably healthier for me in the long run, but it can be a little boring. I get my final paycheck in the mail next Friday, which will be half of what I usually got, but it was to be expected since I only worked half a pay period.

The vast majority of my week was taken up by packing. I'm focusing mostly on my room and then eventually my bathroom. You wouldn't think it'd be as long to do, but I guess I have more stuff squirreled away than I realized. I did toss quite a bit of stuff, like old mail items and shredded old receipts I kept for some reason or another.

The major project was/is my closet. I have pack rat tendencies and it shows when concerning my closet. I did make quite a bit of progress over the past week when it came to packing things away, sorting and organizing the bulk of my closet items. I found more clothes to give to Goodwill and put the clothes I had in there that I currently wear away in some drawers I have that I can now access. And I can see the majority of my floor now when before I couldn't. I should've taken before and after pictures of the progress.

I took all the pictures and other items off of my walls except for my calendar I got from Shutterfly and the wall mural appliqué I have that I'll probably remove sometime soon. I like looking at it which is probably why it's still up.

My next major project is to clean off my bookshelves of the random items I have on there aside from books (which I was able to FINALLY pack ALL of them away. I wasn't aware I had as many loose ones as I did. The curse of the book addict). I have a number of miscellaneous knick-knacks I need to pack away, including fragile items, so that will take some time. I'm not gonna start of any of that until Monday since I declared the weekend free of packing. Maybe if I take a full two days, I can be more invigorated to do more packing.

What I'm really not looking forward to is going through our storage unit and reorganizing things and repacking and all of that stuff so that when we do get the moving truck, we can just chuck everything on there.

We have a bit of a setback right now. Mom called the 401(k) people in order to find out when we'll be getting the money and they told her that she wasn't declared 'terminated' yet and would probably have to wait until our final paychecks are processed, which isn't until the middle of next week. Then, even after that happens, there's a mandatory 15 day hold in order to receive the money we need in order to even begin to start the process of the actual move itself. Mom said she'll call the lady from our old company that she's spoken to before about it and see if there is anything to be done to expedite the process. Hopefully it can be so we can get the ball rolling. We need the money in order to fly up, look for housing, sign a lease once we find one, pay the down payment, fly back down, rent the truck and get it loaded. We had hoped to be out by the first of June so we wouldn't need to pay for another full month of storage as well as the pro-rated rent on the apartment. I hate the bureaucratic processes.

We did have a nice brunch and tea with a few of the ladies from our church. We sat and chatted for a few hours as well as enjoy some nice hot tea and something called a Dutch Baby. It had baked apples along with it and was very tasty, even though mom couldn't have any of the pastry, she was able to eat the baked apples and our hostess scrambled up some eggs for her.

We also went to the Home Depot a few days ago and got a long length of 4" PVC pipe to put fishing rods and some hiking sticks in for easier transport. We had to be pretty creative when it came to transporting it, but we managed to get it home. However, one end of it managed to fall and land on the big toe of my right foot where there is now a nice bruise on the edge of the nail bed. I dunno if the impact was enough for the nail to fall off however. I guess we'll have to see.

Yesterday mom, Laura cosmic_reverie and I went to see Star Trek Into Darkness. I really liked it! It had a lot of good action scenes and humor in it. Go see it!

I've noticed an odd pattern of sorts recently. Whenever I tell someone (or they find out somehow) that I'm moving away, I always seem to get asked the same types of questions:

1. WHY?!

I understand people are curious as to why we're moving, but it's no big important reason really. Because we want to. Pure and simple. Wanting a change of pace and/or a change of scenery.

2. Do you have family up there?

I get this one a lot. Like the only reason to move is to be closer to family. I understand that's why a lot of people move, but that's not the only reason. I do say we have friends up there and that seems to be an acceptable answer. I guess they like to be reassured that we're not gonna be alone or something.

3. Do you have a job or something?

True, lots of people move due to their job relocating them, but not everyone. I think it may be easier if you do, that way the company may pay for moving expenses and you'd have an income once you move. I think that's the scariest part for me.

I'm not 'offended' or anything by people asking me these questions, but I just noticed a bit of a pattern with the line of questioning. Hell, I may ask these kinds of questions myself of people whenever I find they're moving.

Still nothing on the housing front. I'm trying not to angst about it. I just want us to be able to find something nice in a nice area for us to stay put for awhile. I mean, I don't want to find something kinda meh to transition into a better place later on. I don't want to move again for awhile if I don't have to.

I've been busy at work training the people who are going to be taking over my posting when I leave. It's a bit exhausting and time consuming to say the least. I guess I was a little bit short tempered or frustrated today because I got an email from my boss saying I need to 'get along better' with my fellow associates. I didn't realize i wasn't, but maybe I was and didn't notice or something. I dunno. I have my exit interview scheduled for the 10th at 2:30 and then after that it's 'hasta la vista'!

I have my final Remicade treatment on Wednesday and maybe I can do more packing that day since I'll be home. I did talk to my GI doc today and he said he'd like me to try to get established with a GI doctor up there so that I don't fall behind on my treatments. Which is all well and good and everything, but if I don't have insurance to AFFORD said treatment due to not having a job, than it'll seem relatively pointless.

Sorry things have been quiet on the posting front. I kept meaning to, but then I never got around to it.

Anyway, things have been kind of up and down lately. We're still trying to get adjusted to the new merger at work. They are a lot stricter when it comes to a lot of thing and that takes some getting used to. We now have to fill out (what seems like) a ton of paperwork just to request time off. We haven't been divided into cubicles as of yet, but it'll be coming soon I think. Maybe it'll be after I leave, which is in another few months. Maybe once I turn in my notice, I can light a fire and do more packing. My weekends have been pretty scattered lately so I haven't had much of a chance to do more sorting and packing. Mom is getting frustrated because she thinks the place looks like a hoarders house to which I assure her that it doesn't look anything like that. Also, that the boxes will increase the closer it get to when we move.

I'll be visiting my dad and step-mother this weekend for a little while, as in a few days since that's all I can spare due to the fact I have no Personal Time saved up do to the merger. I hope it goes better than last time when I had to leave early due to some disagreements with my step-mother. maybe it will be since it'll be at an actual house and not a cramped RV. I guess we'll have to see...

I had planned on going to a Pow-Wow last weekend that my cousin likes to go to, but mom and I decided to go to a memorial service for a fiend of ours from church and I'm glad we did since we were able to get together with some friends we hadn't seen in a long time and were able to catch up and have lots of fun. It was a good celebration of life.

I may have had a falling out with another close fiend of mine over the weekend. Things have gotten rather strange with her lately. She's been posting all of these rants about being prepared for the Second Coming and how all the Muslims on the planet seem to have a personal blood Jihad against the entirety of the United States. I know some of the more fanatical factions probably do, but the majority of the Muslim people more or less want to live their lives as the rest of us do. She's always been rather conservative in her beliefs, especially after she married her husband, but it was never to this degree. And it's only really been fairly recently too. I may have aggravated things a little by asking a few questions here and there and getting these bizarre tirades in return. I sent her a message on Facebook saying that I don't want whatever may have been done or said to come between us as friends and to try to smooth things over a little. She responded by saying she'd pray for me to have my eyes opened to see the truth that is out there. O...K. I tried leaving neutral responses and stuff, but I haven't heard anything back yet, so I have no idea if I'm on the shit list or not.

She's the one that we'd do a lot of fun stuff with, like game nights and going to the Highland Games and snorkeling and all kinds of things. I miss my fun-loving, adventurous friend. I hope she returns.

I've never been one for patience.

I'm wanting these next four months or so to be over with quickly. I want to quit my job and leave (at least temporarily) all the stress behind me. If I didn't need to work for the money and, more importantly, for the insurance, I'd be very satisfied at staying at home.

Maybe the time in between when I quit my job and start another one in Tennessee I'll have recovered enough from stress that I won't burn out. Hopefully.

The majority of the stress comes from the soon to be buyout and the transition that comes with it. We have to amp up our workload in order to make sure we get all the stuff caught up and posted and it means longer hours for us. Plus, I got in a wee bit of trouble due to my hours being askew since I had to go in early and leave later for the past few weeks. Hopefully since my mom's hours have regulated, so have mine. There are days when carpooling kinda sucks...

I got into a bit of a tiff with a friend of mine on Facebook took something I posted the wrong way. I mentioned the fact that I didn't want to see pictures of mutilated or dead animals on my news feed because it's just something that I don't want to see. Yeah, you can hide them, but the image is still in your head. My friend had posted earlier about a petition to prosecute a guy who killed a dog by malnutrition or something (I didn't read the post too closely) and thought that I was singling her out specifically. I told her it wasn't due to her alone and that there have been other posts about various animal abuse causes that tend to use graphic images in their postings. She mentioned how she was creeped out by Domo-kun for some reason and didn't want to see any pictures of him and some such. We were able to hash things out and I think things are cool between us now, but I just hate how political Facebook has gotten. And how hyper sensitive people are anymore. All I wanna do is keep in touch with friends and family that I don't get to see on a regular basis and post geeky pictures and cat macros. so I'm laying low for a little while until the whole thing blows over...

My anxiety and the paranoia that sometimes comes with it is starting to crop up again. Hopefully my meds will regulate things again and I can feel like a human being once again. It really sucks in the meantime. Maybe once all of the stuff regarding the take over is all over and done with, things will begin to smooth out and feel normal again.

Well, we moved ALL of our crap over to the new place. Now we have a maze of boxes all over again. Hopefully we'll get everything put away in a decent amount of time so I can have actual floor space to be able to do stuff.

And we also have epic rain happening now. We do need it though, but I wish it didn't do it while we were trying to move stuff over yesterday (yes, I called into work in order to help my mom finish things up). So I'm enjoying some tea which is perfect rainy day weather.

Bought Tori's new album today. From iTunes since I didn't have access to a store. But that's cool since I got a bonus song because of it. It's pretty cool! It's pretty mellow throughout. I haven't picked a particular song I like over others yet, but give it time.

I haven't had a chance to really read my FL lately and I probably won't for a while still due to the UNpacking, but hopefully soon I can! If there's anything you want me to be aware of, drop me a line sometime.

Laters!