.:reflections of twilight:.

Apparently, my hoop jumping is far from over. I went to the school today to turn in my initial certification application, and it seems the school doesn't even have my graduation status up yet in their official documents. The lady there, who was very nice, said it might not be until January 23rd or so. Which is interesting since I have to pick up my diploma on the 19th. I also have to order my transcripts from my other schools to be sent to the state Board of Education. I'm not going to worry about that just yet, since it'll still be a few weeks until everything gets organized. Luckily, the schools are used to the whole red tape aspect of everything, so if I say my certification is “pending” that'll usually do for the time being until things come together.

While I'm glad to be finished with grad school and all of that, I still have the stressful part of the job hunt ahead of me. I filled out the online application for the Knox County School System, so that's done at least. I haven't heard anything back yet, but it may be a little while yet and there's also the holidays coming up and people are busy with that.

My dad was in town for my graduation and it was nice that he was here. The ceremony itself was pretty basic, not that it wasn't still nice though. It was a typical graduation ceremony and all. The graduate students went first, with the doctoral candidates going first and getting hooded onstage, followed by us, the Master's candidates. Finally the undergrads went. The speaker was actually pretty decent, which can't be said of most graduation speakers. We went to get a quick bite of lunch afterwards, and then I went home and changed and dad and I went to the movies. We went and saw Spectre which was pretty good. There were some Star Wars cos-players in the movie theater who were promoting the new Star Wars movie (which mom and I are planning to see on Monday morning, once the opening weekend crowds thins out a bit. Presumably) and I got a picture of dad with them. It was fun. Mom wasn't feeling well, so when we went to dinner, she didn't eat anything. I think the burger she had for lunch was under-cooked, so it was bothering her. We were going to go and see the lights at the local raceway, but she really wasn't feeling well enough to go.

Sunday, I went and had lunch with friends of ours, as a post-graduation celebration of sorts. We went to our mutually favorite Chinese place and it was very good, the company AND the food!

So, due to all of the goings-on recently, we haven't decorated for Christmas. At all. I have my lights in my windows, but that's mostly because I didn't bother to take them down last year. If I do end up moving to Knoxville, I will have to take them down eventually. That's another thing I'm trying not to think too much about. I don't mind having to move, but the actual act of moving isn't all that fun. But, I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, as the saying goes.

Hopefully I can get some things done around the house now that I'm no longer tied up with studying. I need to do some catch-up house cleaning and organization. And reading!! I can do some pleasure reading again! And hopefully I can re-learn my knitting. My skills are considerably rusty since I haven't been doing it as much due to school. I had to frog what I was working on and start over since I forgot a simple purl stitch. And my knit stitch could use some work as well...

I haven't had much opportunity to enjoy many hot beverages lately. The crazy weather due to El Niño hasn't helped any. It's usually a looooot colder by this time of year and we've had at least one snowfall by now. It's barely broken the 60's for the majority of the time. I don't know what January and February will bring since they're usually the coldest months. I guess we'll see.

I hope everyone has a happy holiday season and I'll send out letters as soon as I can!

Today was the last day of my Practicum and it was a little bittersweet. I do think I learned a lot from this experience, though, which was the point. I will enjoy having more free time devoted to classwork (and, let's be real, sleeping in). I still have a few more months until graduation, so things will be getting more hectic. Hopefully I can keep my cool. I'm not gonna lie, I had a minor nervous breakdown on Friday. I guess all the stress had built up and it just exploded into one roiling sob fest. It did feel good afterwards, however. Like a catharsis of a sort. I guess it's something that you need sometimes...

I have some potential job prospects in the Knoxville area soon. My adviser had email some of us in the Practicum class about openings coming up in Knox County in January and gave us the name of the lady who is the liaison between the school board and the principals in hiring of new school librarians (I didn’t even know there was such a thing. Go figure). She did contact me back and we're going to be setting up a Skype interview within the next few weeks. Mostly because Knoxville is about two hours away from here. I am kind of hoping to get one of the later openings in May and thereabouts so that it will give me some time to move there. I'd rather not commute that distance, especially with a less than reliable car and in the winter. If it does happen, mom had mentioned something about moving with me and helping me get settled for a year or so, then moving on to maybe Townsend, TN which is closer to the Smokies, which is her dream area. Only time will tell, I guess.

I have to prepare for my Oral Presentation on Thursday. It's also via Skype with my graduate adviser and another instructor who teaches a lot of the library classes I take. I'm not super worried, but I do need to print off a bunch of stuff so that I can show them my physical binder. I have quite a bit of it already, but there are still a few items that I need to add yet.

I had my Remicade on Wednesday. Like a total dumb-ass, I forgot to do my lab work ahead of time, so I had to do them both on the same day, which took a long time and I had to wait awhile before I was even set up for it. Then, they couldn't get a good jab into my vein, even after multiple tries (which hurt. A LOT). They moved to another vein and things were better. I was the last person to leave, however, once everything was done. My next one is in December, a few days after my graduation. The only thing I wouldn't look forward to about moving again is having to re-establish with doctors and finding new favorite restaurants. It's the little things, sometimes...

I survived the visit with my dad and stepmother. I had a few tense moments here and there and one time I actually had to leave to go outside in order to avert an anxiety attack, but luckily it was just the one time.

On Saturday we went to Oak Ridge and went to the American Museum of Science and Energy. It was pretty nice. Nothing too fancy, but it was a nice little museum. I took pictures and posted them on my Flickr account if you want to peruse through them. :-)

While I enjoy doing the internship at the school library, I am looking forward to it being over because I'm exhausted. It'll be nice to be able to keep up with my housework in the very least. It's the simple things sometimes...

Tomorrow is the first day of fall, and so far, it doesn't feel much like fall. While we are getting some color changes with the leaves, the weather is still pretty warm and I hope it starts to cool off again soon.

I'm gonna cut this short because my brain is fried right now...

I basically have a four-day weekend. I was off on Friday and Monday is Labor Day and no school. Online classes are still available though, so no getting out of that… Tuesday and Wednesday I go back to the lab school I’ve been at for the past two weeks and then on Thursday I go to my second placement. Why a weird schedule? Because the lab school is on a year-round schedule and they have a Fall break coming up for the majority of September. My main concern with the new placement is the fact I need to be there by 7:15 in the morning. As someone who isn’t a morning person, this will be a bit of a struggle for me. It’s bad enough that I get up at 6:30, now I have to do it even earlier. Plus, no Fridays off. But, it’s all a part of the education system! Day to day activities aren’t an issue, but I will have to do a collaborative lesson plan, and that worries me. I don’t know if I need to actually get up in front of a class and teach a lesson, or if I need to meet with a teacher and we come up with a lesson together for them to teach? I don’t know. I’ll ask my supervising librarian about it.

My classes are going pretty well so far, but I’m only in my second week. It hasn’t been easy trying to juggle my hours at the school with keeping up with my classwork, but with a schedule adjustment, it’s been a little easier. I’m concerned about my Seminar class. The instructor seems to be a bit of a martinet (and a humorless one at that) and while the discussion postings in and of themselves haven’t been too bad, for some reason, she wants us to have responses with citations, instead of just posting a response based on our previous experiences and opinions. I just have to try and hang in there for another few months. I may be finished with my Practicum sooner than expected and then I can devote more time to classwork.

I did make a book trailer for a class and I think it turned out pretty well! See for yourself:



I had some help with the program I used. I basically used a premade template and added some words and pictures to it. But, people seemed to like it, so that makes me happy.

My dad and step-mom are coming down in a few weeks. While there’s not gonna be a trip to DC for me, it’ll still be nice to visit. Maybe if I can swing it, I can spend some time with them in the afternoons and evenings while they’re here. Besides, if the weather is going to be like it is now, it’ll be too damn hot to go to DC at this time of year…

I PASSED MY PRAXIS EXAMS!!!!! I did better on my PLT one than my SLM one, interestingly enough. That one was the one I was worried about the most. I had the results sent to my university, the Tennessee Board of Education and the North Carolina Board of Education. Virginia, interestingly enough, doesn’t require the Praxis for their teachers. Hmmm…

Classes start next week on the 24th. That’s also when I report for duty at my first school library. I have to start going to bed early and getting up early this coming week to train myself to do it for the rest of the semester. Not easy for a natural night owl like myself. Although, I had to get up at 6:30 for six years when I was working in an office, and I didn’t like it then either. But I’ve been spoiled for the past two and a half years of sleeping in whenever I wanted. Plus, I also have to keep on top of my other classes. Oy! I have to tell myself not to get ahead of myself and worry about things before they happen, but Anxiety doesn’t like to listen to reason…

The meeting I had with the second librarian I was assigned to went very well. This was definitely not her first rodeo with a grad student. She did say she had a hard time pinning down a schedule with the last student she had, because I think there were conflicts, but that’s not going to be an issue with me. I don’t have a job to go to that takes up the day, so I can come in all day, every day. Hell, I’ll probably be finished with my 100 hours with her before it’s time for me to go back to my other school when they return from their fall break. I might even be finished before the semester is over.

She even had a lesson plan idea for me to do for my video evaluation. I guess the school has an International Baccalaureate program and some of the students have had difficulty with proper citation of papers. So I need to come up with a lesson plan about a works cited page and plagiarism. I just hope I don’t puke my guts out beforehand.

I tried pleading with the Financial Aid office to see if, by chance, I could get my loan money early. No go. They said I can’t get it before the 19th, which is Wednesday. HOPEFULLY I’ll actually get it then instead of a few days after, so I can have time to get some things I need before the 24th.

I’m thinking of switching from my bank to a Credit Union. I’ve done a little research and it sounds like a CU would be better suited to me. I know there are pretty much only regional branches, but many are connected by networks so that you can use them without being charged a fee. Plus, they don’t have a lot of other fees that national bank chains charge since CU’s are not-for-profit. I’m done with being screwed over by my bank and its ridiculous fees and I think my mom is too.

I have my next Remicade treatment on the 19th, so I have to go tomorrow and get my bloodwork done. Hopefully I won’t run a red light this time. I wonder if I should get my allergy shot while I’m out as well since I usually get them done on Wednesdays.

Since Verizon is charging me a crapton of money in order to reinstate my cell phone, I think I’m going to go with one of those StraightTalk deals from Walmart. I can use my old iPhone 5 as just a phone for going back and forth to school and such in case I need to use it for emergencies or letting people know when I’m leaving and the like. Mostly for mom’s peace of mind since she tends to worry about me a lot. But, being she’s my mom, she’s gonna do that… 😉

I was supposed to have a meeting with one of the supervising librarians I’ll be working with for my Practicum this coming semester, but when I showed up, she wasn’t there. I guess she’d forgotten she was supposed to meet with me or something, despite the fact that we had this meeting set up for over a week. Her GA was there and he spoke to her and basically the gist was that I can pop in anytime during school hours to start on my hours. However, there’s more stuff that I need to speak to her in person about, so we kind of set it up where I will stop by on Monday during school hours (so 1:30 or so) so that we can get together and set up a schedule because I need something concrete to turn into my instructor. I have a tentative meeting with the other supervising librarian for next Wednesday at 10:30 in the morning so we can set up a schedule. Hopefully no other calamities will befall me.

I’ll get my loan money sometime around the 19th or so. I’d like to get it earlier so that I can get the books I need (one of which costs $150.00!!!) and stuff like that before classes actually begin. Why they don’t take this into consideration when they distribute the funds, I have no idea…

One of my instructors did open the class online already so we can get an idea and read the syllabus and the assignment schedule. There is a loooooot going on this semester. Not only the Practicum, but the other classwork as well. I also have to videotape me doing a lesson as well as having two observations of conducting a lesson. That is what I’m most nervous about. Not just due to my voice issues, but my Social Anxiety as well. Public speaking has never been a strong feature of mine. I can do one-on-one instruction and small group, but standing up in front of a classroom and conducting a lesson is a whole other matter entirely. Hopefully I won’t fuck things up too much.

I hope I can be able to keep up with all of my classes while I’m doing my Practicum hours. I’ll just have to make sure I go to the library afterwards so that I can focus and get everything done. I won’t be sad once I graduate since I’ll be done with all of my schoolwork. I also have to set up a time to do my Oral Presentation in October. I’ll probably nail down a date once I finish setting up my schedules for my Practicum.

I’m STILL waiting for my Praxis scores. Hopefully I’ll get them soon, especially since I have to put them in my portfolio for my Final Presentation. Wish me luck!!

Well, maybe not a national nightmare, but it was pretty intense.

Yes, I am finally finished with my Praxis exams! Hopefully for good, depending on if I get a high enough score on them. I’m not gonna get rid of all of my notes just yet or anything.

Still, I’m glad I have time to relax and actually enjoy the rest of my summer before classes begin and I start my Practicum. I have a meeting with one of the librarians I’ll be working with on Friday to set up a schedule. I haven’t heard from the other one as of yet, but I hope to soon. I don’t know when she checks her work emails since school hasn’t officially started for the city as of yet.

My birthday is Monday and my dad and stepmother gave me a $100.00 gift card for Amazon (which I’ve already used) so that was very nice of them. I got some books and the last Hobbit movie on BluRay. Most of them should arrive on Tuesday with one arriving sometime in August.

That was pretty much the only big event that has been going on so far. I mean, summers tend to be pretty low key and especially when you’re broke and can’t go anywhere. I think I’ll watch some TV and read a bit.

Well, it’s almost July. Soon, school will start again and maybe I’ll actually get out of the house more. I’ll pretty much have to once the next semester starts again since I’ll be doing my Practicum. My main goal is to pass my Praxis exams at the end of July. I have 18 days until my first one and that will be here soon. I am making study cards, so hopefully that will help with memory retention. I just need to not freak out on the day of the exam and blank out on everything.

The weather hasn’t been too bad so far. Last week was hotter than normal, but compared to Florida, it was bearable at least.

I’m surprised I haven’t gone blind yet since I had to fill out online paperwork for my Student Loan for next semester. You have to fill out and sign a bunch of stuff every semester you need a loan and they have you read it a 100 times before moving on to the next phase. Basically, I’ll be signing my life away for the next several decades, or however long it takes to repay the loan. Hopefully I can earn a kind of income where I can live comfortably and not have to slowly sell off my possessions one by one in order to survive. I don’t have nearly as many DVD’s as I once had because I had to sell a bunch in order to get money. I know the end result will be worth it (earning my degree and having a career that I actually enjoy), but it’s hard to think of that when signing my life away.

I’m trying to be at least a little productive. I haven’t read as much as I would like to nor knitted much more than a few rows here and there. Due to money issues, we haven’t traveled around much to explore like I would like to. Much like last summer. I hope every summer won’t be like this. I don’t know what people in the education field do over the summer, so I don’t really know…

I have been listening to a lot of podcasts though. Mostly one called ‘Now Playing’ which is a movie review podcast that I’ve enjoyed for a few years now. I used to listen to ‘Made of Fail’ which cleolinda is on as a regular now, but I haven’t as much lately. I need to return to it. I think with the shuffling of co-hosts, I lost a bit of interest. I just subscribed to a new one called ‘Out on the Lanai’ which is about the Golden Girls TV Show. The one I’ve been listening to the most, however, is ‘The Last Podcast on the Left’ which is a comedy/horror one about true crime and supernatural phenomena. I’m kind of a sucker for true crime. Anyone looking at my browser history would think I’m plotting something…

I did go to the small comic con that was being held at the local public library and that was kind of fun. It wasn’t very large at all, but it was nice and there were a few people there in costume. If I had the money, I would’ve bought a few things, like this new comic book called ‘Blades of Hope’ by an all female creative team that’s about a group of women who are martial artists in a fantasy type setting. It looked to be pretty good. I had my picture taken with a stormtrooper too!



I seem to have lost my train of thought, so I’ll be going now. We have errands to run tomorrow and mom wants to be up at a decent time so that we can do them.

I looked into the dates for the Praxis exams and the last ones listed for this year are at the end of July. I was hoping there would be some later in the year since I get my loan money at the end of August. Naturally the tests cost over $100 in addition to the study guides I need to get. The education system is messed up enough where you have to be rich in order to be able to go, not including tuition! Maybe I can find a way to have my dad pay for it. I hate asking him for money, but he might do it since it’s related to my education. He did pay for my KDP membership, after all. There’s a trick to doing it, though.

We also have to pay for our car registration by the end of the month. We can only afford one, so it’ll most likely be my car since it’s the only one being used right now. We’ll have to park Hank (mom’s car) in the garage since we don’t want any grief from the HOA for having an unregistered car on the premises.

I’m still having issues with my back. I’ve been sleeping with a pillow under my knees and that does help a little. Except I have to stay on my back the entire night and I like sleeping on my side as well. I may need to get a readjustment sometime soon. I have a feeling this is an issue I’ll be having for the rest of my life. Hopefully it won’t cripple me…

Just a brief update before a nap attack hits.

I got my final grades back and I did very well! Two A’s and a B! I didn’t tell mom about me getting the 65 on my final since it didn’t affect my grade all that much and my Honor Society qualifications are still intact, so I can breathe a little easier now.

The weather has been warming up and we’ve had to crank on the A/C already. I don’t know what things will be like in July and August, but I have a feeling I’ll be staying indoors the majority of the time. Maybe the pool will be open by then and I can take a dip. Mom said she wanted to go to the pool as well since she thinks it will help with her knee by doing some low impact exercises in the water. I just hope it opens before school gets out and it’s overrun by kids. Right now it’s been drained to be cleaned and refilled (I assume).

I have no major plans for summer since we want to limit our gas consumption due to not having much money. Mom gets her Medicare taken out in June, which leaves us with less than what we’re getting now. I have no prospects for any decent summer jobs, so activities will be limited, including going to the movies. Since this is summertime, a lot of cool movies will be coming out. Oh well…

Mom (and maybe I, I haven’t decided yet) is looking into membership to the church we’ve been going to. There’s a big cookout on the 3rd of June which is for new and prospective embers that we’re thinking of going to as a way to introduce ourselves and get to meet some people. Hopefully my social anxiety won’t kick in too much like it tends to at functions like this. I guess we’ll see… I told the minister about me being a Progressive Christian, and he seemed to be fine with that and said there were a few members who were in line with that way of thinking. I guess I’ll find out.

Well, I think I feel the nap fairies coming, so I’ll sign off for now. I’ll try to update as often as I can, depending on what’s going on and if I remember too, lol!