2014-07-10 14:43![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
snapdragon76
snapdragon76I have this mass of emotions roiling around inside me and it won’t go away.
I gotta say, Depression really sucks sometimes. Most of the time I’m doing just fine and then I get hit upside the head with a depressive episode and things get bleak all at once.
I feel like I’m at some sort of crossroads or something. I can’t explain it, really. I know I’m returning to school to get my Master’s degree and that’s a good goal and everything, but I still can’t shake this gloomy feeling. Maybe once classes resume and I’ll have something to do to occupy my time it’ll be better.
I also feel like I’m losing connections with my friends, especially the ones I have here. On one hand, one set of friends has busy lives that they’re living and no matter how much we try to connect, it never happens. On the other hand, another set of friends seems to be cutting people out of their lives altogether, which is bothersome in and of itself. I mean if we did something to offend you or something, come out and say it. Don’t be passive/aggressive about it. Let me know for God’s sake!!
I know I need to ‘get out there’ and ‘make new friends’ but it’s not that easy for someone like me who is shy and introverted. It’s hard for me to put myself out there like that.
Another thing that is grinding at me is a massive case of cabin fever. I’m stuck inside my house practically 24/7 since I have no money to go anywhere or do anything (even the free stuff takes gas to get there) and mom doesn’t seem to even be trying to find another job somewhere, and we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. I love my mom a lot, but when you’re stuck inside with someone, it gets to be a little annoying. I know she’s not thrilled with the prospect of having to work until she’s past retirement age, but it’s a necessary evil. And she seems to have no desire to even look, despite the fact that she was given a few leads to look into.
I can’t say anything for risk of hurting her feelings or sounding like I’m nagging or getting on her case and all of that crap. I’m at least making an effort to find another GA position somewhere. What has she done?
I don’t even know why I’m writing this on here since no one even reads this journal anymore. Maybe I just need to vent and get things out of my system. I’d hate to think that all people think I do is to try to garner sympathy. I dunno. Maybe I am.
I gotta say, Depression really sucks sometimes. Most of the time I’m doing just fine and then I get hit upside the head with a depressive episode and things get bleak all at once.
I feel like I’m at some sort of crossroads or something. I can’t explain it, really. I know I’m returning to school to get my Master’s degree and that’s a good goal and everything, but I still can’t shake this gloomy feeling. Maybe once classes resume and I’ll have something to do to occupy my time it’ll be better.
I also feel like I’m losing connections with my friends, especially the ones I have here. On one hand, one set of friends has busy lives that they’re living and no matter how much we try to connect, it never happens. On the other hand, another set of friends seems to be cutting people out of their lives altogether, which is bothersome in and of itself. I mean if we did something to offend you or something, come out and say it. Don’t be passive/aggressive about it. Let me know for God’s sake!!
I know I need to ‘get out there’ and ‘make new friends’ but it’s not that easy for someone like me who is shy and introverted. It’s hard for me to put myself out there like that.
Another thing that is grinding at me is a massive case of cabin fever. I’m stuck inside my house practically 24/7 since I have no money to go anywhere or do anything (even the free stuff takes gas to get there) and mom doesn’t seem to even be trying to find another job somewhere, and we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. I love my mom a lot, but when you’re stuck inside with someone, it gets to be a little annoying. I know she’s not thrilled with the prospect of having to work until she’s past retirement age, but it’s a necessary evil. And she seems to have no desire to even look, despite the fact that she was given a few leads to look into.
I can’t say anything for risk of hurting her feelings or sounding like I’m nagging or getting on her case and all of that crap. I’m at least making an effort to find another GA position somewhere. What has she done?
I don’t even know why I’m writing this on here since no one even reads this journal anymore. Maybe I just need to vent and get things out of my system. I’d hate to think that all people think I do is to try to garner sympathy. I dunno. Maybe I am.
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