Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you...

[snapdragon76]

As many of you have already found out, my grandmother, with whom I was very close to, died two weekends ago on the 11th of February. I want to thank all of you who responded to my previous two posts in regards to this. I appreciate all of your replys. They mean a great deal to me.

Needless to say, this took us all completely by surprise. Even though she was 91 years old, she was still in fairly good health. She was hosting a Bible Study with a group of ladies on Friday the 10th, but she never came to the door. They had to get the manager to unlock it and they found her in her bed, unresponsive. They called the ambulance and they came and took her to the hospital. They also called my aunt, who called my mother who called me. I was at the car place, getting new tires on my car at the time. One of the ladies who works there with whom we're friends with, gave me a lift to the hospital. The hospital gave her a CT scan and discovered she had a massive bleed in her brain. At this point, she was still alive, but still unresponsive. My aunt called my other aunt up North and she then made arrangements to fly down here. The ER doctors suggested airlifting her to a hospital further up the state, but when discussed, we all decided against it, especially since there was no guarantee they doctors up there could really do anything for her. So they moved her to the Intensive Care Unit on the third floor and made her as comfortable as possible.

My aunt who lives here, called her daughter who lives several counties away (a roughly two hour car drive) and told her the situation. She said she'd be over as soon as she could first thing the next morning. Eventually, my aunt from up North made it down and went in to see her. She was on the ventialtor and still going pretty strong, despite the anurysm. We (my two aunts, my mom, my uncle and me) stayed in the waiting room all Friday night. Eventually my cousin (as well as her youngest daughter) made it over and was able to see her. An influx of friends came and went as we waited. Eventually it was decided to take her of the ventilator. It took awhile since the doctor had to sign off on it, but when he did, it was removed. She lasted on her own a good couple of hours. Eventually, all of us there decided to go and get something to eat (we did have to eat at some point) when the nurse on duty called my aunt on her cell phone and beckoned us back in. We were all there as she slipped away.

Although I am extremely sad and upset that she passed away, I am happy I was able to be there with her and that she felt no pain and didn't linger for a long time. I know she would've wanted to go this way and I know that she's in a much better place. It still doesn't completely take away the hurt I feel. I know, once everything gets back to 'normal' things will really start to hit me, esspecially since my grandma was an essential component of my everyday life.

We had a funeral for her down here on Wednesday and then one up in Indiana on Friday as well as the burial. Now I need to try to catch up with everything I missed as I try to get my life back to as normal as possible. I can't dwell on it too much or else I'll just end up getting depressed. So don't be surprised if you recieve responses from me on posts that are a week or so old.

Comments

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

I won't lie and say that getting back to a "normal" life is easy. I struggled with grief for a long time after losing a loved one. Never be afraid to spend some time to yourself refecting on your grandmother, and never listen to anyone who think you should "get over it" quickly. It's hard to lose loved ones, but don't forget you'll never lose their love.

[sharktapus.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry bebe *snugs* Losing someone so close is always a blow to the heart. It'll take time, but I found for me when I would remember all the fun things my Gran and I would do together, it made me happy. And to know she lived a full life and that I was fortunate enough to know her made it a little easier eachday. *loves on*

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

*hugs* OMG I am so sorry. I haven't been keeping up with LJ very well lately and just saw this now. It's wonderful that you were all there in her last moments. I'm sure she felt that and treasured that. It's hard but I hope you take care of yourself in this diffuicult time. Appreciate what she has contributed to your life, and treasure her memory always.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Oh I know. I've been down this road before. And I think about her everyday, and probably always will.

Yeah. I volunteered with grief counseling for a time and I know all about that stuff. People grieve in different ways and never truly "get over it."

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

*feels the love*

Tahnks, toots. Yes, I do have many a memory to fall back on. Maybe that will ease the ache a bit.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. Yeah, it'll be hard, but I know where she is and that makes it a bit easier, knowing I'll see her again someday... along with my sister.

Very sad to hear about her death.....

[dracschick.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Chris

[miyabita13.livejournal.com]

It's okay if you don't get back to "normal" right away. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I can't really imagine what you're going through; my grandmother died a few years ago, but I was never that close to her... and that's always something that I regretted a lot. So... *hugs* I love you. And I'm here if you ever need anything.

Re: Very sad to hear about her death.....

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your condolences.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I really appreciate that. And I will take you up on your offer when it comes time.