Life sucks and then you die...

Today was kind of a bad day today. I'm feeling very frustrated with the job prospects out there and while most of the time I try to remain positive, today everything just came to a head and all of my emotions kind of came to the forefront. I try not to angst too much on social media, but it kind of all came out and now I'm worried people will think I'm just being a complainer.

I know people mean well, but sometimes the advice they give isn't really all that helpful. Like a few are saying that I need to try substitute teaching or something. I don't want to teach. I want to work in the library. If I wanted to teach, I would've become a teacher. My social anxiety prevents me from doing it. Others are saying I should broaden my search to outside the library. And do what? I have a degree in being a school librarian.

I don't even know anymore. Mom keeps saying to hang in there and that God has a plan and a place for me. I'm not seeing it. I wish that I could know something about what's going on. It's frustrating. No one wants to take a chance on me. You pretty much have to know someone or have been in the education field for someone to hire you. What about those of us who wanted a career change outside of education? Where is our place? Why won't you hire us? Give us a chance?

I hate not knowing and all of this uncertainty. I keep saying about all of the things I want to do once I get a 'full time job' but I don't know if that will happen now.