The Joy of Asexuality

[snapdragon76]

Trying to type this up while listening to a podcast and people talking is kinda like walking and chewing gum at the same time…

Anyway, onto the point of this entry. I was having a ‘discussion’ (it was through comments on Facebook, so an actual discussion is stretching the definition a bit) with a friend of mine and I think we both came to a similar conclusion: I may actually be asexual.

Now whether this is a ‘result’ of being celibate for so long that I lost interest in sex, I dunno. I’m not sure it quite works that way. Now, granted, I am sexually attracted to other people (guys) and have had crushes now and then, but wanting to throw them down and ravage them… not so much. So it might be from more of an aesthetic point of view.

Now, I’m not saying I’m opposed to having sex (when/if I get married), but if it never happens to me, I’m not gonna be too utterly disappointed about it or anything. Frankly, the idea of sex kinda scares me a little bit. So I tend to avoid it. Never being in a relationship kinda helped in that matter, so there wasn’t any opportunity. But if there had been, I think it would have (and still would) freaked me out.

It actually kinda used to bother me that I never had a boyfriend and that I am still single at 34, but that’s not really the case anymore. I kinda like being single right now and it’s also a case of not missing what you never had. If it comes to a point in my life where I do meet someone and by chance we get married, then so be it. Never say never, you know. But I’m not banking on it at this point.

So maybe I’m semi-asexual? I dunno if there’s a ‘test’ or something to take or not. I’m not really into the label thing anyway…

Comments

[elantis.livejournal.com]

There are varying degrees of Asexuality. And for me I a flat out Aromantic asexual. You, if you chose to fit under the lable of asexual, sound more like a hetero-romantic asexal. And a good number of us are generally the same way when it comes to sex and relationships. And it can be used as a "bridge" to finding your own sexuality, just like some gays and lesbians use the "Bisexual" thing as a bridge to coming out as simply homosexual. (My sister did exactly that.) Some use it simply as a way of explaining and summing up in one word that they have other things on the list of things to keep them content and happy that rank a heck of alot higher than sex.

People change, though and so do sexualities, and if at some point you think that the "asexy" lable no longer fits pull it off and put on a new one, its that simple. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or that you are broken, it simply means your brain isn't wired for sex to be the ultimate goal in life.


I in general am the same way. I find guys aestheticly pleasing, have had several crushes IRL, and do in fact do the "Scratch that itch" my own though I usually don't think about anything. If I do end up having sex, whoo hoo... yay... if not I'm not missing anything. And I really don't think that simply by partaking in the act I'm going to be a sexual person or that it will change my opinion of being asexual, but for some people it does.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was leaning more towards heteroromantic more than anything else.

If it does or if it doesn't, makes no difference to me whatsoever. I had wondered about it for a little while now, so it's not altogether new.

And yeah, when I'm in the shower... taking care of things... I don't think of anything either. I know, WTMI...

And thanks for the discussion on this matter. :-)