snapdragon76: I like reading. A lot. (Harry Potter books)
This has been a rough 24 hours for me. I never heard back from the school I interviewed with and that usually tells me that they decided to hire someone else. A phone call or an email would've still been nice instead of leaving me hanging. It just doesn't seem very professional to do that to someone who applied for a position with you.

So another rejection triggered a major depressive episode that I still haven't fully recovered from. Being plagued with self-doubt with a smidgen of self-loathing sprinkled in isn't the best way to spend an evening. On top of all of this, the online company I was working for decided to cancel my contract with them because apparently, I wasn't rating things as perfectly as they would've liked me too. Although the email they sent was pretty nice, praising my professionalism through it all.

I did think that the end of this job meant an opening for a library position somewhere, but I guess not. I decided to step away from my social media accounts for a little while until I've fully dealt with this latest episode. Plus, I got tired of people trying to tell me how to handle my rejection. Just because something worked for one person, doesn't mean it'll work for me. I will send an email to the principal saying I appreciated him taking time out of his day to interview me (and others).

I may try to look for another online job in something like proofreading or something. I'll give myself a little bit of a break before I do, though...
snapdragon76: Zach rocking the 360 cameras at the MTV Movie Awards (Zach 360)
I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for the Media Center at a high school in Greeneville. Media Center is basically the library, but since most people think of libraries as just having books instead of a place to do research and other activities, they're usually called Library Media Centers.

Anyway, Greeneville is about an hour away from us on the south side of town, so we're probably gonna leave two hours early to account for traffic. While I've applied to many other places, this is the first one to actually ask for an interview. So, who can say what will happen? Even though school has already started in many places, I guess they never found anyone yet. There will be a committee of people doing the interview, and now just the principal, so it's a little bit nerve-wracking, but I'm trying to maintain my cool.

Hopefully, this will lead to something, because I have a feeling my part-time job is close to an end. They put me up for review because they say I'm not rating enough in the time given. Bullshit. I make sure I get in over the minimum amount every day.

Maybe it's just as well. I hadn't planned on keeping this job for very long anyway and it was beginning to get tedious. I'm trying not to put the cart before the horse here, but who can say what will happen. Mom did say she's expressed an interest in doing it since she could use some extra money and since it's a job you can do while at home, it'd be a good fit. She also signed up to do some auditing for some classes at the university. A lot of the seniors at the community center she plays cards with have done it and they seemed to enjoy it. You can take classes without paying tuition, but you also don't get any credit for them. Mostly just so that you can learn something new if you want. She wants to take photography classes, but there's a required art composition class she has to take before she can take the one she really wants. I told her it'd be useful since photography does need composition.

If I do get the job in Greeneville, I'll have to move closer since the commute will be easier and I don't have to get up quite so early and have to wrestle with traffic as much. But, like I said, I'm trying not to put the cart before the horse. So any good wishes, prayers and the like would be appreciated sometime around 3:30 EST.

I'll be glad one this election is over (or not, depending on the outcome). I'm tired of all the ugliness I see, especially on social media. I've been taking a small break from Twitter and the like because I need it. The timing is bad due to the Olympics, but it can't be helped.

Once I know how everything went, I'll post another update!
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snapdragon76: Did I mention that I like reading? (books)
Wow. It's been awhile since I posted on here.

I don't think 2016 is gonna be my year. Well, so far, 2016 hasn't been a great year all around. I'm thinking more professionally on my account. Despite many efforts, I haven't had any job bites so far. The school year will be starting soon and at this point, I don't think it's gonna happen. I've been trying to keep my hopes up and my options open, but it's been for nothing. Maybe I should take the first thing that's offered to me instead of holding out for something I really want. Hey, what's being unhappy over a steady income? I never knew that trying to find a job would be this difficult, at least for me. Others who graduated already have jobs. Maybe I'm just a loser who no one wants to hire...

Sorry, got a little dark there. People keep giving unsolicited advice to me, like maybe I need to volunteer somewhere. While that would be nice, I can't give up my paying part-time job. Maybe I should. I mean, who needs to pay for food and bills and the like?

This whole job search isn't good for my mental health, I gotta say...

The extra income is nice for one thing: I can go out and do some more things other than staying home all the time. Not just going to the bookstore and the like, but some of the summer programs that the area has. So, there's that I guess.

I'm gonna stop here before I depress myself further.
snapdragon76: (Last Unicorn)
Today was kind of a bad day today. I'm feeling very frustrated with the job prospects out there and while most of the time I try to remain positive, today everything just came to a head and all of my emotions kind of came to the forefront. I try not to angst too much on social media, but it kind of all came out and now I'm worried people will think I'm just being a complainer.

I know people mean well, but sometimes the advice they give isn't really all that helpful. Like a few are saying that I need to try substitute teaching or something. I don't want to teach. I want to work in the library. If I wanted to teach, I would've become a teacher. My social anxiety prevents me from doing it. Others are saying I should broaden my search to outside the library. And do what? I have a degree in being a school librarian.

I don't even know anymore. Mom keeps saying to hang in there and that God has a plan and a place for me. I'm not seeing it. I wish that I could know something about what's going on. It's frustrating. No one wants to take a chance on me. You pretty much have to know someone or have been in the education field for someone to hire you. What about those of us who wanted a career change outside of education? Where is our place? Why won't you hire us? Give us a chance?

I hate not knowing and all of this uncertainty. I keep saying about all of the things I want to do once I get a 'full time job' but I don't know if that will happen now.
snapdragon76: (Alphonse Mucha)
I apologize for not posting much. I have a busy schedule with my part time job and doing various errands and whatnot during the daytime. The evening usually consists of me catching up on my non-work related internet time. I think I spend waaaaay too much time online and not enough doing my other hobbies, like reading and knitting. I'm going to try and remedy that. We'll see how successful I am. I tend to get sucked into websites like TVTropes, Cracked or Buzzfeed. Occasionally Wikipedia, but not as much anymore. I also listen to some podcasts, so that takes up some of my free time as well.

I applied to another job at a local school. It's about 30 minutes away (in good traffic). It's not a huge school, but it's not a small one either. It's about mid-sized. It's a high school, which is where I want to try to get in. I still have applications out to two high schools in Knox County yet, and I haven't heard from any of them as of yet. Maybe within the next few weeks since school is ending and the principals and the HR staff can find the time to go through applications.

Being at a local school would be pretty nice, since I wouldn't have to worry about finding a place to live right away and I can maybe save up to find a place after I've been working for a year and they find they like me. So keep fingers crossed, prayers flying and good vibes a-comin' my way that I'll get a job soon-ish!

Mom has been having a good time with the friends she made from her card group. I'm glad. I was a little worried that she wouldn't do much of anything once she retired and since we moved to a new state, we didn't know much of anyone and the people we do know here are busy with their own lives. I tag along sometimes too, like for karaoke nights. I don't sing, but I like to watch and listen and be supportive. It's pretty fun, but by the end of the evening, my introvert batteries are starting to majorly drain and I'm usually ready to leave.

Mom has been getting her knee injections and they seem to be helping. She not walking lopsided anymore. She's also able to do more things with greater ease, which is nice. Her hip was hurting as a result of her walking off kilter because of her knee, but the ortho doctor said it should feel better once her gait improved. Maybe once the summer rolls around, we can start to do more things like we were doing before.

My part time job is still going. There are some aspects of it that can be tedious, but that's any repetitive job. But, the extra money is nice to have and it enables me to be able to do things that I wouldn't be able to do otherwise. I just have to remember to remain focused and not to let my attention stray too much so that I can get the requisite amount of reviews done in the time allotted. I doubt I'll be able to continue once I get a full time position, since I wouldn't have the time, but that's at least a few months away yet. I also have to remember to fill out the forms I need to defer my student loan payments for at least another few months until I start a full time job. They do offer income based repayments, which I think is the best way to go for me right now.

It's a busy year for movies! Now that I have some extra income, I don't have to wait to see summer films until who knows when (I still have yet to see Inside Out). Ghostbusters is one I want to see as well as X-Men Age of Apocalypse and Finding Dory. I think there are a few others coming out (like the Independence Day sequel) that I may see as well. I also have my 40th birthday in a few months which I'd like to have a big shindig for, but we'll see what is in store come the end of July.

Which reminds me, I'm also due for my colonoscopy sometime this summer. Not something I'm looking forward to, but such is life with a chronic illness.

That's all for now! I'll try not to be so long between entries.
snapdragon76: this is made of win and awesome (Default)
We got the car fixed!! Thanks to a dear friend who came over and took care of it for us. Granted he had to go by a YouTube tutorial, but it worked and now we can drive once again! I still need to get a newer car at some point, especially once I start working. But, that's a ways away yet, so I'm not gonna fixate on it right now...

I think I need a fundamentalist detox. Some of the people I went to church with down in Florida, while overall pretty decent people, they are still so very narrow-minded about so many things. Someone posted about Target making their bathrooms gender neutral for people who are trans, and there was a big uproar about it! Mostly from dude-bros with hunting rifles who threaten to 'hurt anyone with a penis who dares share a bathroom with my fragile wives and daughters!' Mostly they were talking about the guys who want to abuse the system by 'claiming' to be trans men (while looking decidedly like cis men) and raping and fondling women. There was definite trans misogyny going on. I was very polite with my response, saying that all anyone who is trans wants to do is use the bathroom in peace, like everyone else. Naturally this was when the trolls came out. Saying, 'If God gave you a penis, then you were meant to have a penis!' I had to stop receiving notifications after that or else I would've let my emotions get the better of me.

I did make it a point to post on my own page, that the likelihood of those who molest women and children are straight, cisgender males, not anyone from the LGBTQA community. This is 2016, people! Stop living in the dark ages! And this isn't helped any by the Trump campaign, which does nothing but get people riled up and start regressing backwards. Is it any wonder people are afraid and worried?

Additionally, we found out today that Prince passed away at only 57 years old. This hasn't been a very good year for celebrity deaths. Why can't Death take less likable people? I shouldn't say that, though...
snapdragon76: Zach rocking the 360 cameras at the MTV Movie Awards (Zach 360)
I'm trying very hard to not be annoyed right now. My car isn't working due to issues with the brakes. And when you only have one car, it kinda limits you.

While there have been a few nice people who have taken us for errands and the like, but there's still a limit to even what they can do.

Even though I have a part-time job now, I still don't have the money to get it fixed. So I'm pretty much stuck at home. And that's a problem. Not only is it the catalyst for massive cabin fever, but I can't do things that I need to do, like getting my allergy shots and doctor appointments to go to. I just have to figure out what to do.

Additionally, I'm kind of in a holding pattern with my job prospects. I realize it's getting close to the end of the school year, so there isn't going to be a ton of focus on new hires right now, but I have to figure something out so I know if I need to move and getting all of that taken care of. Plus, I have student loans due soon, so that's another problem I have weighing on me.

Why do children want to be adults so much? It kinda sucks...

I'm trying to stay positive, but it's not easy. Especially when you're like me and have Anxiety. It's not a good combination...
snapdragon76: this is made of win and awesome (Default)
Just a brief update for those who might not have seen on my Facebook.

There was (is) a job opening for a librarian at a high school in Knoxville that I applied for last Friday. I haven't heard anything yet, so I'm trying not to be too worried since it's been only a week since I sent in my application (all online, of course). I'm hoping things will be in my favor, since I think I'd like it. I dunno if I'd be going in as a co-librarian with the current one, or as the only one. The posting wasn't that clear. It may be a bit premature, but I've even started looking for housing in the South Knoxville area where the school is located.

Now, I'm not gonna count my chickens before they've hatched or anything, just trying to be a bit proactive. I'm not gonna do much of anything aside from do some looking until I know for sure what'd going to happen. I wish I knew what was going on, however. This state of limbo frustrates me so much.

But, I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude overall. I'm still looking at other areas, but the pickings are mighty thin, especially around here. While there are lots of teaching positions open, librarians are few and far between. Mostly because most schools only have one, maybe two. And my school loan payments are due starting in July. I need to get a deferment if possible.

I did get a part-time job online recently. I signed a NDA, so I can't go into much detail, but I basically spend four hours (with a few breaks in between) using a proprietary client and rate social media advertisements using a set of guidelines established by the company. It can be somewhat tedious, but it'll be good for some extra money, so that'll help. Plus, there's a lot of movies coming out this summer that I want to see, so having some extra cash on hand would be handy. Once I get my permanent job, I'll have to quit, since I won't have the time to do it for extra income, but for now, it'll do.

Spring is here, kinda. The weather has started to warm up and the flowering trees have started to bloom all over. Lots of cherry trees, pear trees and tulip magnolia trees in the area. Mom and I went to the library and took some pictures since it has some nice trees there and we plan on going to a park this weekend to see what else has started blooming. I did see some daffodils here and there and I hope to be able to take pics of them at some point.

So that's what's been going on so far in a nutshell. Things are a bit slow. Mom is doing more things with the card group she goes to on Mondays. Stuff like karaoke nights and dominoes. I'm glad she's getting out and doing some more things with people.
snapdragon76: this is made of win and awesome (Default)
I started a new part-time job Thursday. It's an online one and it's four hours per day. I signed a NDA so I can't go into too much detail, but it's basically doing search engine assessments for a company. I have to make sure that the search query that people search for in Google, come up with the right results and if they're for commerce products or not. Barring any technical issues, I should be OK. I couldn't work Friday because there were no queries in the queue to assess. Not a good start for my second day. Hopefully this week will be better...

Still on the hunt for a career type job. The PT job is nice for a few extra coin, but it's not a career. Besides, there's no way I could make my student loan payments with it. Hopefully, more openings will come up as the school year comes to an end. I want a high school, ideally, because it's the type of books I read and I can relate a little more to the students. Plus, I wouldn't have to do a lot of actual teaching. I almost had a nervous break down when I had to teach a class of sixth graders, and that was only one lesson! Yikes!

The university had a comic-con that I tried to go to. Turns out you need to have a valid student ID in order to get in for free. Sadly, I did not have the fee to pay for admittance. But, I was able to get some pictures of cosplayers, so it wasn't a total loss. I didn't want to hang around too long because I didn't want to come off as a creeper. I dunno what'll happen next year if I'll even be in the area to go next year. I guess we'll see.

Not much else has been happening. Mom has been doing a lot more stuff with the cronies from her card group, which I'm glad. Neither one of us tends to get out much, especially since we don't go outside to do any work. Maybe once the weather gets a little nicer and I have a little more money in my pocket, we can do some more things.

I saw my GI doctor on Friday. Things are pretty much status quo, which I was happy to hear. I do need to schedule my colonoscopy soon within the next few months. That'll be fun... I don't want to do it so close to the 4th of July like last time, or near my birthday. That'd be a bummer of a birthday, I tell ya.
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snapdragon76: My Chinese Zodiac sign (Japanese dragon)
The wonderful world of living with Anxiety. For a lot of people, they have concerns about certain things. For me, and many others with Anxiety, it ramps up. Right now, I'm feeling so much Anxiety about what will happen to me in the future. It's 24/7 all the time. I have so much going through my mind, like: Will I find a job? Will it pay well? Will I have to move? If I do, how will I afford it? Will I find a place in a nice area? Will I need to get a newer car? Will mom have to come with me? Will she be able to manage without my car? Will I do well in my new job? Will the students like me? Will my co-workers like me? And etc...

The meds I take do help, believe it or not. Without them, the feelings would be a lot more intense and overwhelming. As it is, they're still there, but not at the forefront of everything else. And they help with my Depression as well.

I know it seems like a lot to dump out all at once, but I think once you see it in black and white, it helps clarify things sometimes. Plus, it can be a way of looking back and reflecting. I just hope that I can be successful as an adult after all...
snapdragon76: *slurrrrp* (Tea!)
I'm sitting in front of the fireplace at the community center while my mom plays cards with her card cronies. Mostly to get out of the house after a long blizzard-induced exile. OK, she also bribed me with food... Most of the snow has melted, but there is still quite a bit on the ground. It'll probably be all melted by the middle of the week.

I picked up my diploma last Tuesday, before all the snow came. So I guess it's officially official. I have a Master's Degree! Now comes the fun part of finding a job. My application for my certification has been sent out to the Board of Education in Nashville. It'll probably take awhile before it gets finished though, since they're only into the November applicants. But, this is par for the course, so I'm sure the school systems are used to it. I just put “pending” on my applications. So far, I've only just filled out the application for Knox County. I need to look into what the requirements are for the local counties. I did find out that the county closest to me, needs copies of the applicants' transcripts. Those suckers cost $25.00! Especially since I have more than one university to send. That's not even including the one I just graduated from! So, I can't do that right now since I don't have the money to do it. I'll have to see what the other area counties require. I haven't made progress with the Asheville applications, because I need to see what I need to do to become certified in North Carolina and I may need to wait until I get my Tennessee license.

Things have been pretty low key lately. I don't have classes, so I've been trying to fill my time with other things, like going through some old things and reorganizing my dresser drawers. I also need to re-learn to knit since I'm extremely rusty since I had to stop for awhile for school. I'm also starting to get notices from the lenders in relation to my student loans. I know I'm going to have to defer since they want my first payment in July. I'll also need to consolidate them so that I can just make one payment. As it is, it may take me at least ten years or longer to pay them off. I guess we'll see...

Mom and I have been going to a local Methodist church and we've really liked it. It's smaller than the one we'd been going to, but I think that's what makes it nice. Plus, the building is beautiful. It's 100 years old and it has a beautiful pipe organ and stained glass windows. The pastor is very nice, She came over to the house a few weeks ago and it was very pleasant. Mom officially joined last week and I may join eventually. I'm still contemplating. Besides, I hear the Methodists are a little more liberal than the Evangelical sects, which I like.

I've been thinking about getting a BJD. No real reason, I just like the look. I have two Tonner dolls already, but they don't have the articulation that the BJD do. But, I need to save up, because they can be pricey, especially if you want one with a face already painted. I'd need that since I have no artistic talent to do it myself. It seems a little... odd to be an adult women and collect dolls, but I'm hardly the only one! I'd also need to get clothes and stuff and wigs and all kinds of things, so I may need to wait until I get a job before I can start. I just have to figure out the best way to start!
snapdragon76: Zach rocking the 360 cameras at the MTV Movie Awards (Zach 360)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

I hope that everyone has had a safe and pleasant New Year thus far. Mom and I stayed in (like we usually do) and watched some movies, ordered some pizza, watched the ball drop and drank some sparkling cider.

A lot of things happened in 2015. Some good and some bad, not just to me personally, but worldwide as well. People passed on and babies were born, there was a new Star Wars movie that was released, the final Hunger Games movie as well. Some book releases as well as educational achievements, like graduating from grad school, possible employment opportunities and induction into the educational honor society.

Here's a brief recap of 2015 as I can remember it:

Read more... )

Soooo, that was pretty much my year. This coming year has lots of promise. There is a possibility of a job and maybe a move to go with it. It's a little exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I think it'll be good, though. I'm not going to get too much ahead of myself, but I'm going to try to stay optimistic. And not think about the looming student loan payment that's coming up...

I hope 2016 will turn out to be a good one for all of you and I look forward to seeing what'd next in your lives!!
snapdragon76: Zach rocking the 360 cameras at the MTV Movie Awards (Zach 360)
OK, so I saw Star Wars The Force Awakens today and I have thoughts. I shall put them under a cut as to spare everyone from spoilers.

Read more... )

So, those are my thoughts. I think I was more coherent than I thought I would be. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what next on the horizon.
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snapdragon76: *slurrrrp* (Tea!)
Apparently, my hoop jumping is far from over. I went to the school today to turn in my initial certification application, and it seems the school doesn't even have my graduation status up yet in their official documents. The lady there, who was very nice, said it might not be until January 23rd or so. Which is interesting since I have to pick up my diploma on the 19th. I also have to order my transcripts from my other schools to be sent to the state Board of Education. I'm not going to worry about that just yet, since it'll still be a few weeks until everything gets organized. Luckily, the schools are used to the whole red tape aspect of everything, so if I say my certification is “pending” that'll usually do for the time being until things come together.

While I'm glad to be finished with grad school and all of that, I still have the stressful part of the job hunt ahead of me. I filled out the online application for the Knox County School System, so that's done at least. I haven't heard anything back yet, but it may be a little while yet and there's also the holidays coming up and people are busy with that.

My dad was in town for my graduation and it was nice that he was here. The ceremony itself was pretty basic, not that it wasn't still nice though. It was a typical graduation ceremony and all. The graduate students went first, with the doctoral candidates going first and getting hooded onstage, followed by us, the Master's candidates. Finally the undergrads went. The speaker was actually pretty decent, which can't be said of most graduation speakers. We went to get a quick bite of lunch afterwards, and then I went home and changed and dad and I went to the movies. We went and saw Spectre which was pretty good. There were some Star Wars cos-players in the movie theater who were promoting the new Star Wars movie (which mom and I are planning to see on Monday morning, once the opening weekend crowds thins out a bit. Presumably) and I got a picture of dad with them. It was fun. Mom wasn't feeling well, so when we went to dinner, she didn't eat anything. I think the burger she had for lunch was under-cooked, so it was bothering her. We were going to go and see the lights at the local raceway, but she really wasn't feeling well enough to go.

Sunday, I went and had lunch with friends of ours, as a post-graduation celebration of sorts. We went to our mutually favorite Chinese place and it was very good, the company AND the food!

So, due to all of the goings-on recently, we haven't decorated for Christmas. At all. I have my lights in my windows, but that's mostly because I didn't bother to take them down last year. If I do end up moving to Knoxville, I will have to take them down eventually. That's another thing I'm trying not to think too much about. I don't mind having to move, but the actual act of moving isn't all that fun. But, I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, as the saying goes.

Hopefully I can get some things done around the house now that I'm no longer tied up with studying. I need to do some catch-up house cleaning and organization. And reading!! I can do some pleasure reading again! And hopefully I can re-learn my knitting. My skills are considerably rusty since I haven't been doing it as much due to school. I had to frog what I was working on and start over since I forgot a simple purl stitch. And my knit stitch could use some work as well...

I haven't had much opportunity to enjoy many hot beverages lately. The crazy weather due to El Niño hasn't helped any. It's usually a looooot colder by this time of year and we've had at least one snowfall by now. It's barely broken the 60's for the majority of the time. I don't know what January and February will bring since they're usually the coldest months. I guess we'll see.

I hope everyone has a happy holiday season and I'll send out letters as soon as I can!
snapdragon76: I like reading. A lot. (Harry Potter books)
I have less than two weeks before I graduate and still so much to do. I have to write a six page research paper by the 9th and finish up my online portfolio. I'm trying not to freak out about it, but I tend to do that anyway (thanks, Anxiety). Then I have other problems to deal with, like my insurance premiums going up drastically and only having limited funds. I probably wont even be able to get a job for six months after I graduate and in the interim, I'll be dead ass broke. I'll probably have to look into a part time job in the meantime, which has never been an easy task. I'm trying not to feel discouraged right now, because I want to focus on the positives, at least until after graduation. It majorly sucks, being below the poverty line. I just want to have a job where I can have a comfortable existence and not have to wonder where my next meal is coming from, or being unable to pay my bills and where I don't feel like I'm just existing.

Sorry for the complaining. I get these moods where I just feel sorry for myself and can't shake it. I think it's part of my Depression. I haven't even been on my Flist for weeks because I just can't put in the effort anymore. I keep it though, because the rare few of you who do actually post anything anymore, I want to stick around. Plus, I can say things on here that I can't anywhere else, and I think it helps a little bit, even if no one ever reads it.

I did manage to have my hair re-hennaed yesterday. It looks nice. It'll most likely settle into it's more 'permanent' color in a few weeks, in time for me to graduate. I also have to practice my very rust makeup skills for 'the big day'. I feel like I'm getting married. I have announcements, a gown, photographs, a rehearsal, etc... No honeymoon, though. But, I'm excited and will be looking forward to it and for it to be over with. I just hope I'm able to find a job at a good school as well as be able to move (if I need to) once the time comes. Adulthood really sucks...
snapdragon76: this is made of win and awesome (Default)
I swear to God, Anxiety is the WORST! My instructor for my Practicum class (who is also my advisor and basically heads up my major), keeps telling me I need to tweak my lesson plan assignment for the last lesson plan I did. It’s not out of malice or obstinance or anything like that, she’s my teacher and she’s trying to teach me things that I’ll need to know for my career. The logical side of my brain understands that. The emotional side of my brain, however, tends to overshadow the logical side, so I get anxious and panicky and all sorts of crap. Then comes the self-doubt and the self-loathing and then my Depression likes to rear its ugly head and it’s just a big ol’ mess. Even with the medication I take, which helps a lot, it can still be overwhelming. So I think I may have dumped a lot of Anxiety onto my instructor with my last email and I’m hoping I didn’t weird her out or anything or give her reason to think I can’t hack it as a librarian. It’s a vicious circle.

Anyway, I’m trying to think of more positive things, like my graduation coming up in a little over a month. My dad is finalizing his plans for coming down, I got my photos from my graduation shoot in the mail and I uploaded them onto my computer and shared them. I will probably print them out on an as needed basis to give to family along with the graduation announcements I plan on ordering in the next few weeks. Plus, I still have my classwork to do over the next few weeks. It’s not as busy as it was when I was doing my Practicum, which is helpful.

I had a Skype interview with the lady who is the liaison for the Knox County Tennessee School District about future openings in the Knoxville area. It’s roughly two hours from here. It went pretty well. Mostly she was asking me about what policies I would use and technology and collection development. She doesn’t do the actual hiring, that’s the job of the principals. However, when I apply for a position there, she can go and tell a principal at a certain school that she spoke with me and she knows I’d be a good fit at that particular school or not. While there are positions opening up in January, I do want to wait until after the school year since I really need to have the time to be able to move to the area and I want to start when the new school year starts instead of in the middle. So, hopefully things will fall into place soon-ish so that if I need to move, we can. Mom said she’d move with me for a year so that I can get settled and then she’d move out on her own. It’s a bit of a scary prospect since I’ve never lived on my own, not even at college where I always had roommates.

We went to the local campus of the VA and took some pictures of the trees and some of the older buildings there. It’s a very nice campus with a lot of character to it. It’s a good place to have a picnic since it has a lot of open spaces as well as some shady spots. I’ll link to my Flickr album where I posted all my pictures at. I also have some from the cemetery from the other day that is on the other side of the VA where the military folks are buried. I may have a few from around our neighborhood as well…

Autumn 2015

I have other pictures on my profile if you wanna take a gander.
snapdragon76: Did I mention that I like reading? (books)
Today was the last day of my Practicum and it was a little bittersweet. I do think I learned a lot from this experience, though, which was the point. I will enjoy having more free time devoted to classwork (and, let's be real, sleeping in). I still have a few more months until graduation, so things will be getting more hectic. Hopefully I can keep my cool. I'm not gonna lie, I had a minor nervous breakdown on Friday. I guess all the stress had built up and it just exploded into one roiling sob fest. It did feel good afterwards, however. Like a catharsis of a sort. I guess it's something that you need sometimes...

I have some potential job prospects in the Knoxville area soon. My adviser had email some of us in the Practicum class about openings coming up in Knox County in January and gave us the name of the lady who is the liaison between the school board and the principals in hiring of new school librarians (I didn’t even know there was such a thing. Go figure). She did contact me back and we're going to be setting up a Skype interview within the next few weeks. Mostly because Knoxville is about two hours away from here. I am kind of hoping to get one of the later openings in May and thereabouts so that it will give me some time to move there. I'd rather not commute that distance, especially with a less than reliable car and in the winter. If it does happen, mom had mentioned something about moving with me and helping me get settled for a year or so, then moving on to maybe Townsend, TN which is closer to the Smokies, which is her dream area. Only time will tell, I guess.

I have to prepare for my Oral Presentation on Thursday. It's also via Skype with my graduate adviser and another instructor who teaches a lot of the library classes I take. I'm not super worried, but I do need to print off a bunch of stuff so that I can show them my physical binder. I have quite a bit of it already, but there are still a few items that I need to add yet.

I had my Remicade on Wednesday. Like a total dumb-ass, I forgot to do my lab work ahead of time, so I had to do them both on the same day, which took a long time and I had to wait awhile before I was even set up for it. Then, they couldn't get a good jab into my vein, even after multiple tries (which hurt. A LOT). They moved to another vein and things were better. I was the last person to leave, however, once everything was done. My next one is in December, a few days after my graduation. The only thing I wouldn't look forward to about moving again is having to re-establish with doctors and finding new favorite restaurants. It's the little things, sometimes...
snapdragon76: (Last Unicorn)
Today was my Remicade treatment. You'd think, after having done this as often as I have, that I'd remember to do my lab work ahead of time, like I have so many times before. Not this time, apparently. Granted, this semester of school has been a rather hectic one since it's my final one and there's a lot of stuff to do in addition to my Practicum. Monday was especially busy and it slipped my mind to go and do my lab work. Luckily, they were very nice at the infusion center and I was able to do both my lab work and my infusion on the same day. However, it did cause a few hiccups. Like I had to wait until 1:00 to actually get started on my infusion, and they were very busy today, so I actually didn't get started until after 2:00. Then, the nurse had a hard time accessing my vein, which really hurt as she was digging for it. Mom said I looked peaked afterwards. Then, because it took longer than expected, I was there until after 5:00 when everyone else had finished. We kept apologizing to the nurses for keeping them so long, but they said they had charting to do, so it wasn't a big deal. Then, mom and I went and had some Chinese food afterwards since I was starving by the end. We had some errands to do today, so we were able to do those in between my lab time and my infusion time.

I'm getting close to being completely finished with my Practicum. My last day is next Tuesday. I still need to get together with my supervising librarian to get a lesson together for me to give on Monday as part of my grade as well as doing some paperwork stuff. Friday there are no classes in the library, so I hope I can get some time to talk to her then. Next Thursday I have to present my Oral Presentation via Skype, so I've been working on getting all of that together. I also have an assignment based on a book that I've been reading, so I have that to finish before Sunday. Things have been pretty busy for me. I just hope I don't suffer burnout before the semester is over.
snapdragon76: (Tamaki and Haruhi)
I survived the visit with my dad and stepmother. I had a few tense moments here and there and one time I actually had to leave to go outside in order to avert an anxiety attack, but luckily it was just the one time.

On Saturday we went to Oak Ridge and went to the American Museum of Science and Energy. It was pretty nice. Nothing too fancy, but it was a nice little museum. I took pictures and posted them on my Flickr account if you want to peruse through them. :-)

While I enjoy doing the internship at the school library, I am looking forward to it being over because I'm exhausted. It'll be nice to be able to keep up with my housework in the very least. It's the simple things sometimes...

Tomorrow is the first day of fall, and so far, it doesn't feel much like fall. While we are getting some color changes with the leaves, the weather is still pretty warm and I hope it starts to cool off again soon.

I'm gonna cut this short because my brain is fried right now...
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snapdragon76: this is made of win and awesome (Default)
This is going to be a very stressful week. My dad and step-mother (as well as the people they care for) are visiting and, while I get along great with my dad, things can be tense with my step-mom. Not that we don’t get along in general, it’s just certain aspects of her personality kinda rubs me the wrong way. Dad said he thinks she may have an undiagnosed mental illness such as bipolar disease, but refuses to acknowledge this in order to get diagnosed. It’s… frustrating and convoluted at times. I can only take the whole crew for more than a few days. So while I was disappointed not to go to DC with them, it was probably for the best, because being enclosed in the relatively small enclosure for even four days, it would’ve been too much to deal with. So, I’d still like to go, but maybe just with mom and sometime during the fall when it’s cooler and less active.

So, we’re set to go to Oak Ridge, TN tomorrow (which is two+ hours away. Help me), and it should be an interesting experience. Hopefully I won’t break out into an anxiety attack (like I almost did at dinner tonight). Luckily mom will be with me to act as a buffer. She’s a calming influence on me and it helps to have her around.

Working at the library is very busy, but not in a bad way. I like doing what I do and am learning quite a lot about how a larger high school library works. I’ve gotten a bit more confident when it comes to getting kids to be doing what their supposed to be doing and I get a hands on experience. I still have to do a collaborative lesson plan, so that’s a bit nerve-wracking, but I just have to suck it up and do it. It’s just for one day and I like the teacher I’ll be collaborating with, so that will help. I just need to do the same when I return to the other school I was at once they return from fall break. Then I have to gather the materials I need to do my Oral Presentation toward the end of October. Hopefully I can get to a point where I can sit and do all of that stuff relatively soon. I can survive until December. I know I can!!